Memorial candle avaEvery single one of us has lost somebody we loved – a parent, a sibling, a friend, a mentor, a coach. We miss people who’ve passed away, grieve the loss, and often want to honor and remember them somehow on our wedding day, the day we would love to share with them. If that’s what you feel, this post is for you. We offer you a few ideas on how to remember people who were important but are no longer there for you. The ways of honoring your deceased loved ones can be public and loud or subtle and silent – do whatever you feel right.

Idea #1

Memorial table

This is a great way of honoring a person or people you’ve lost. Many of us are grieving because our beloved ones were taken from us by war, covid-19 or other diseases, terracts, accidents, etc. Create a memorial table to remember them and you’ll feel like they’re witnessing your wedding, like you’re sharing one of the most significant days of your life with them. This will also help your wedding guests to remember this person or people.

You can put a photo of the one you’ve lost on this table, light a candle or lantern with the name on it, and write a small sign with the words you’d like to say about this person. Also, you can put something he or she liked near the photo – for example, if they were crazy about doughnuts or rum or certain flowers, or anything else, get it in their honor. Anybody who knew this person as well would understand why it’s on the table and smile, maybe tell others some little story about your favorite person. It would be sweet and adorable to do something like this, wouldn’t it? Some people prefer to write a poem instead or put a quotation the deceased loved to repeat all the time. Do whatever reminds you of him or her, whatever you feel right.

If it feels too painful for you to look at the photo or name of the person you’ve lost, it’s ok to just make a corner or table with a candle burning “in the memory of those who can’t be here with us”. You don’t have to be specific if your grief is too big yet.

Idea #2

Reserved seat for the one you’ve lost

If you decide so, you can reserve a seat in the first row for the person who can’t be there for you anymore. Put his/her picture on this seat and you’ll feel like you’re sharing your happy day with them. Especially if this person was supposed to be at your wedding but didn’t live to see it.

Idea #3

Slideshow of photos

If you or your honey have lost someone really close, you can create a slideshow of this person’s photos or your pictures together. It can be organized on a memorial table or in a special place reserved for it. Put a tablet or a digital photo frame and let it play in the background during the wedding ceremony.

Idea #4

Talk about the one you’ve lost in your speech

You can mention your deceased family member or friend in your speech during the wedding reception. Tell the guests a few words about him or her, let yourself cry or laugh remembering this person. Don’t be shy of your emotions. But do it only if you feel like it, not because you think you have to. You can make a moment of silence or use their name in a toast or tell a funny story – anything that helps you cope with this loss.

Idea #5

Have something on you in memory of

You can wear a locket with a photo of the person you’ve lost or have some jewelry/accessory/hair adornment, etc custom-made in honor of your loved one. Other wedding guests might even not know the meaning of this item, it’s for you and your closest people.

You can order your wedding bouquet made from the flowers the one you’re grieving loved. Or wear some garment that reminds you of him or her (a cape in a certain style, a purse embellished with embroidery pattern somehow connected to this person, and so on). You can either tell other guests about it or just leave this piece of info for yourself.

This is a very personalized way of honoring someone, and it’s wonderful to feel the presence of the one you’ve lost via some small item in your wedding wardrobe.

Idea #6

Use something that belonged to loved one who isn’t there anymore

If you have some kitchenware or other items that used to belong to the person you’ve lost, use them to honor him or her. It can be anything – a knife to cut the wedding cake, a couple of champagne flutes, silverware, their favorite vase, and so on and so forth. While using this thing, you will remember the person. It doesn’t have to be for everybody to see or use, only for the sweetheart table or for the two of you.

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