It’s not a secret that a wedding is an expensive event and you might not have the right amount of money for the wedding of your dream. So, how can you possibly cover the wedding expenses and how to talk money with your family? Here are a few tips that will probably help you to organize a perfect wedding without the money drama, especially if you have to ask your parents or other people to pay for your wedding.
Consider all your options
Before setting a wedding budget or planning the event, count the amount of money you can spend (maybe you’ve saved for the wedding or have a high salary, etc) and look into all the options available for you.
Some couples want to pay for their own wedding, others have to ask for money. There are people who take a loan to cover the expenses, although this is not the best idea because you’ll probably need a mortgage or take a loan to buy a car for your new family and for other needs that arise after the marriage ceremony. So, it’s better to avoid big wedding loans if you can. Still, it’s an option.
In most cases, the parents or other close relatives of the fiance and fiancee pay for the wedding. And the amount of money they can spare depends on the capability of the family. If you have a rich relative, think about talking to him or her and asking to help you out with the wedding.
You might want to combine several financial sources to cover your wedding expenses. For example, the bride’s family pays for her attire, hairstyle and makeup, flowers and the groom’s family pays for transportation, his outfit, photographer, wedding venue. Or you can get a small wedding loan if the money you already have isn’t enough.
Respect your wedding contributors, no matter how small their contribution
Different family members might offer you help with your wedding expenses, even if they can’t give a lot. Sometimes, a granny who can spare only a few hundred dollars wants you to take her money, do it and be grateful – it might warm her heart that she’s helped her favorite grandkid. Never forget to thank those people who fund your wedding, no matter how much they give you. If they want to do something for your dream wedding, they care about you, which is really great. So what if your parents can’t afford to offer you $100,000 to plan a super grand wedding? It doesn’t mean they love you any less. Be grateful and make sure to let them know about it.
Don’t compare your wedding budget with other people’s
Never tell your parents, “You gave me only $10,000 when my friend got $50,000 from her parents”. It’s not only rude but also offensive, you might hurt their feelings. Besides, your wedding is unique, so don’t compare it with other weddings. It doesn’t matter whether your cousin’s wedding gown was fancier or your friend’s wedding reception more sophisticated. Your wedding is all about you and your loved one – your tastes, your wishes, your financial capability, and so on. Recently, weddings have become very personalized, so you don’t have to do everything the traditional way, just do what you feel and want.
Comparing wedding budgets can be uncomfortable or even embarrassing for people who pay for your wedding, so try to avoid this topic. And never turn it into an insult, or you might lose your wedding contributor and ruin your relationships with them forever.
Set the hard-lines
When someone is paying for your wedding, this person will probably have his/her vision of things. And they might be rather pushy about it because their money goes into it. You need to talk about the hard-lines – how much you’re ready to let your contributor be involved, how much their opinion can influence your decisions. It often happens when, say, parents pay for the wedding, they feel they have a right to choose what your wedding will be like. But you need to let whoever covers your wedding expenses know that the decisions are yours – that’s your big day and, if you’re lucky, you’ll have only one wedding in your life, so don’t let other people ruin your dream wedding. Although, it’s ok to listen to their advice and find compromises.
This conversation with your contributor about the boundaries might be one of the hardest in your wedding planning, but it has to be done. Otherwise, you might end up with a wedding you don’t like and don’t feel comfortable with. At the same time, don’t be hot-headed and rude if you don’t like the conditions or demands made by the one who pays for the wedding – just tell them that you’ll discuss it with your honey and need some time to think. Together, decide what to do – to decline or agree or give them a counter-offer.
It’s always hard to talk money, but it can’t be avoided sometimes. And it’s totally normal and expected that when a person gives you several grands for your wedding, they want to be involved in the process of spending them. It would be stranger when they just hand you the money and go about their business, not even making a single suggestion or asking how your planning goes. This would mean they don’t really care about you. So, don’t be upset if your contributors voice their conditions. It just shouldn’t mean that you have to follow all of them.
Don’t rush with the money talk
When you’re trying to get someone to pay for your wedding, be ready for this discussion to take time. You will most probably meet a few times and give them time to consider the matter – how much they are ready to give you, how involved they want to be, whether they want to keep a tab on your spendings, and so on. Usually, the couple meets with their contributors several times to just establish the sum and then some more to talk about details. Don’t rush with it, don’t push them. But be honest about your plans and deadlines.